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:iconsuki-chan36: More from Suki-chan36


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October 8, 2012
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We sang our promises to each other
As you drove towards the bazaar,
Old-new music turning the air sharp and crisp
As the fiery trees that flew by.

Then we walked a little later
Through still-green fields and tire hills,
Speaking of springtime blossoms
As a wintery wind nipped at our hands.

Sitting on what felt like a grassy observation platform,
We ignored the phantom stares of others
And found ourselves in each other
As a summertime sun beat against us.

This new world of ours
Can and will survive the seasons,
For now we two cannot be separated,
Filled to bursting with love and hope.
For Christine.
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:iconmelodierox:
MelodieRox Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Aww this is so sweet! :aww:
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:iconsuki-chan36:
Suki-chan36 Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012
Thank you so much! And thank you for Favouriting it!
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:iconmelodierox:
MelodieRox Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Welcome. :aww:
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:icon14bj337:
14bj337 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012
I really like this. The seasonal imagery is very strong, with the progression of fall into winter, spring into summer. "The bazaar" adds an exotic air - is it actually a bazaar, or is it a synonym for, say, a mall or a farmer's market? "Old-new music" invokes the sense of sound, and adds a timeless (or, at least, time-transcendent) mood. "Still-green fields and tire hills" is interesting, in that it combines rural landscape and urban landscape. The third stanza, combining the mention of "phantom stares of others" with "ourselves in each other" reiterates the focus of this poem on the "we", the two lovers, and their obsession with each other, to the point that others, in "this new world of ours", are nothing but phantoms. Finally, the last two lines bring up the melding, the unity, the union of two individuals as two parts of a single entity, that is essential to love.

...At least, that's my take on it. This poem may be short, but it really is excellent: it paints a picture, captures a story, encloses a feeling. Beautiful.
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:iconsuki-chan36:
Suki-chan36 Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012
Honestly, your take on my poem is beautiful. I purposely put off replying to you just so I'd be able to read it every time I checked my messages. Thank you so much for this comment. That you think so highly of my poetry is just... gah, thank you.

And Christine wants me to mention that yes, it really was a bazaar. xD
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:iconclearnightskies:
ClearNightSkies Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012
<3 <3 <3
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:iconsuki-chan36:
Suki-chan36 Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
My thoughts exactly, ashke. ^_^
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:iconviolet-illusions:
Violet-Illusions Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012
Nyaa this is really nice! It's a really sweet poem. c: Good job! I think it's really neat how you characterise the world around in it (especially fiery trees and phantom stares).
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:iconsuki-chan36:
Suki-chan36 Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
Thank you so much! I actually hadn't initially intended for there to be this overarching seasons theme when I first started writing, but I'm really glad it went in that direction.

And thank you very much for Favouriting it!
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